The One with the Regrets (and Thanks)

Nope, not posting that video. But here is me in my blue Katy Perry wig.

Nope, not posting that video. But here is me in my blue Katy Perry wig.

The night before my wedding, I popped a wire out of my only good bra while making a video for my wife. No, not that kind of video. I wanted to do something silly as a pre-wedding gift, so I asked one of our bridesmaids to take a video of me singing Katy Perry’s “Firework”. The video was hilarious, in an awful sort of way, but when I felt the telltale poke to my ribcage mid-song, I knew my wedding ensemble was in trouble. I didn’t have any other bras that would work with my dress, but bra shopping in no way fit into my remaining pre-wedding hours.

Naturally, I called another bridesmaid for advice.

“I don’t know what to dooooooo!!! The store’s already closed tonight, but maybe I could stop at the Lane Bryant on the way to Lynn’s. But they might not even have the right size there and I’ll be in a big hurry, but I don’t think I can stand being poked ALL DAMN DAY…”

Sensing that I was working myself into a panic, she cut me off.

“Holly! You’re getting married! Tomorrow!  This is happening! It’s too late to worry about your bra! Just duck tape it!”

And you know what? I totally did, and it was totally fine. My wire stayed safely in the lining of my bra, and somehow, having to Macgyver my bra at the last minute felt appropriate to the spirit of a day that involved a lot of DIY.

Tomorrow is the big (race) day. I’ve actually been training now way longer than I was engaged, but I feel way less confident in my race preparations. I could have trained more. I could already have my race day playlists ready. I could have trained more. I could have finished knitting that armbad to hold my iPod.

Ugh, I really could have trained more.

Too bad running isn’t like a test you can cram for at the last minute. This hobby would be a lot more convenient if I could make up for two weeks of missed runs by simply going on eight runs tonight! I know this is a recurrent theme in my posts, but I’ll say it again- it’s so funny how my baseline has changed. Not that long ago, walking a 5K would have been very difficult, maybe impossible. Now I’m gearing up to run one and still criticizing myself for preparing shoddily. It would be nice to feel all zen about it and accept that I’ve done the best I could do with the months I had. Maybe I’ll feel zen when it’s over. Right now…. whatever the opposite of zen is, that is me. Borrowing a concept from Fit and Feminist, I have three goals for tomorrow.

  • My very minimal “C” goal is just to finish the race.
  • My “B” goal is to beat my time from my “unofficial” first 5K. I would be super confident about making this happen, if it weren’t for the fact that the first course was almost completely flat, and Cherokee Park is super hilly. When I picked this race, I really didn’t know enough to pick a flatter location!
  • My super unlikely, shoot-for-the-moon “A” goal is to finish under 45 minutes. That would be taking almost 9 minutes off my time from March.

I can’t write too much more, because I really do have to work on those playlists. Less than 12 hours. I feel faint! But, on the off chance that I have some kind of tragic fall or sweat to death, I want to thank my friends and family, who have been nothing but supportive and generous of this effort. My wife especially has gone out of her way to keep me hydrated and cheered, and there is no way I could be doing this if she wasn’t on my team. Running can be a weirdly solitary sport, but it takes a village to keep this runner going. I’m happy you are in my village. I hope I see some of you at the Finish Line, however long it takes to get there!

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One response to “The One with the Regrets (and Thanks)

  1. Pingback: The One Where I Finish | my big fat 5k : fitness running exercise health·

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